Last night was a dreamless night for me which is very odd! Almost makes me nervous as to WHAT is in store for the night?? Makes me almost unable to enjoy my day due to the fact I know these demons that haunt each and every narcoleptic won't allow this to pass by!!
A dreamless night for me without this pale extremely large man lurking around in my house peeking in my doorway and wearing his heavy boots or the rowdy gang of guys that torture me and my family several times a month .....well it is like anyone else having a decent night sleep in a hammock at a sandals resort per say!
Regardless I woke up later than usual, trying to cherish every moment, and feel pretty decent without my stimulant yet! But I still dread the night. As a little child I was so concerned about returning to school on Monday that I could never enjoy my Sundays. I have same feeling of doom and dread and anxiety as an adult simply awaiting my fate.....night after night!! It is emotionally and physically tiring!! I am tired and my body is tired!
I am part of some groups on the infamous face book :) Z head Giggles, Narcolepsy Friends, and narcolepsy Network. We post serious issues but I can honestly say that by far narcoleptics have the funniest personalities and are most definitely the best people in the world to poke fun of themselves in light of such torture. We have joked around about Narcos being the zombies of the so called upcoming apocalypse, some state we are possessed, some just simply think we are cursed. As if for me? Yes it's a possessive curse that restrains me, yet, all of us seem to have some sort of sixth sense......and have had it most of our lives. Very strange but true if you could live with a narcoleptic for one month or be privileged to ones journal.....you would see an aray of things that intrigue you. For one, how many do dream about forthcoming events, ones that predict things minor and major, and those that miraculously probably have the answers the nation seems to be unable to establish! If ONE scientist took a narco from every walk of life, every occupation you can think of, one of each religion, even non believers......I feel in my heart you could probably put alot of pieces of the puzzles together!!
I'm fortunate to be mentally strong....not everyone is.....I can honestly see how one that suffers from this disease got labeled years ago before doctors or scientists and these people were mistaken for witches, possessed, or evil, would have went off the deep end shooting at objects that don't exist in an attempt to protect!! Or at that moment of hallucinating and being caught between that place of reality and dreamlike.......mistaken loved ones for evil entities or Intruders!!! We are those that without the correct diagnosis the sandman never comes and we never got the concept Man in the Moon because for us he is evil and torturous! Hang in there my odd Narc buddies we are of a dying breed :)
No comments:
Post a Comment