Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Here In My Life........Just In Time

Here we go again
Please not tonight
Give me rest for once
Until daylight

Noone should dread the sun as it sets
And praise the sunrise
After a night with no rest

That's how it is
Here in my life
Most days I am much too weary
to be a mommy and a wife

Not to mention the fog
That smothers my thoughts and memories
Making it difficult to distinguish reality from dreaming

Days of sleepiness
Tired as hell
Seems as though nothing helps
To make me feel well

Days of doing tasks I cannot recall
Then wondering if i even did them at all

Reminding loved ones of talks we once had
Only for them to inform me we had not
Makes me so mad
The madness comes from the hurt within
But its not anger at all
But sadness from all the talks and memories
I cannot recall

The days of wasting life
Sleeping hours away
Fall into nights where morining
Seems like an enternity away

Tossing and turning
Watching the clock
Anxiously awaiting morning's arrival
And the visits to stop

Doing this and doing that
To wear myself down
So maybe I can get some sleep
And in my slumber remain safe and sound

I don't know the feeling of not being embarassed and ashamed
But the feeling I know too well
Is the one of sadness and pain
And dread
Of the strange disease I have in my head
That causes me to sleep any and everywhere
Except in my bed

The one that causes my body to collapse
And become limp
With anger, excitement, or laughter
That is merely a glimpse....
Of what it's like here in the life
Of a sleepy mommy and wife

Days and nights filled with forgetfulness
And regret
Of things I failed to accomplished
This weighs heavy on my chest
Almost as heavy as the visitor that taunts me at night
Suffocating me
Ruining my life
Night after night

Finally I seem to have spent all my energy and nod my head
In a blurry haze I find my way to my bed
Just in time
Once again
For the nightmare to begin

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for posting this. I'm a young mother of five with narcolepsy and ms. As much as I don't wish this upon anyone, it's nice to know I'm not alone and somebody even a stranger understands how I feel. Thank you :)